13 The Drive By Witch.
Their toxicity is spread from person to person like pink eye. Annoying, but usually easily cured. They land in your life, very keen to learn and get to know you. The minute you violate their idealized notion of who you are or demonstrate that you can’t magically cure all their problems. *POOF* they vanish. Often will say things like, “you are such a disappointment” if they have an unhealthy dose of the P-A Witch, too (see below). The Drive By often has another type of toxicity, but you may not get a chance to figure out what it is.
How to deal with a Drive By Witch: You may be quite dizzy after an encounter with one. Ground yourself. Know that you did nothing wrong. Be ready for them to drive by again when the next person disappoints them.
Stone: Malachite to ground and protect against another encounter.
12 The Pseudo Witch.
This is not a newbie. Nope. This is someone who poses as a witch in order to learn the mysteries of our ways for their own gain. All that they want is the magic(k). They don’t want to learn the techniques and practices, just get to the part where they manifest a million bucks. You’ll know they because they ask questions like, “so how do you know your spells work?” They’ll also be interested in prosperity magic(k) first and foremost, although they can be just as fixated on sex magic(k). Whatever their obsession, an over activated root chakra is the cause.
How to deal with a Pseudo Witch: Tell them nothing. Ignoring them usually gets rid of them. If they start to cause trouble, then you’re probably dealing with an additional form of toxicity. This is often the case. See below.
Stone: Tiger’s Eye will show you their true nature.
11 The Nose Blind Witch.
Also known as The Self Obsessed Witch. Can’t see past the end of their own nose. Everything is about them. Practices a very selfish form of witchcraft that never involves helping others (unless something is in it for them). Often narcissists, they have an exceptionally low level of self-esteem. They keep focusing on themselves as a misguided attempt at seeking validation from others. These witches are often also love bombers, gaslighters and gurus (see below).
How to deal with a Nose Blind Witch: Not very dangerous unless they have an additional toxicity, but can be super annoying. If you want to have a balanced conversation where your ideas and feelings count, avoid them.
Stone: Carry a chunk of sea salt to protect you from their more harmful attributes and to reverse the conversation so you actually can get a word in edgewise. If they are super annoying, throw the salt at them.
10 The Fragile Witch.
Everything triggers them, including the title of this article, so they aren’t reading it. These are wounded witches that haven’t yet found the healing they so desperately need. I have loads of compassion for them. However, their tendency to overreact to everything makes them excessively difficult to be around. Unfortunately, this reduces the likelihood that they’ll find the support they want. Caught up in a vicious circle.
How to deal with a Fragile Witch: Honestly, show them compassion. If they exhaust yours, explain to them *kindly* why you are distancing yourself. They may actually listen. If they don’t, back up slowly sending them healing vibes.
Stone: Make them an energy grid of amethyst, pink quartz and onyx.
9 The Martyr Witch.
The Martyr thinks that they are being undeservedly persecuted. Everything that happens to them is interpreted as an intentional act of harm. Thinks that there are spirits conspiring against them all the time. Never stops to consider that bad things happen to everyone. Doesn’t understand that painful experiences are an opportunity to grow. Often weeps quietly while hanging on their self-imposed cross. The martyr is often desperate, but rarely asks for money outright. Expects you to know they deserve your time, expertise and cash. When you don’t come through, they get to feel martyred even more. Which is exactly how they like it.
How to deal with a Martyr Witch: if you know this witch well, ask them to consider if there is an alternative explanation to whatever horrible thing has happened to them this time or if there is a lesson in it. Since insight is not their thing, they probably will only think that you are out to get them. You can say you tried. If this is a casual acquaintance, ignore them as best you can. Trying to comfort them usually only leads to more inappropriate self disclosure.
Stone: Black obsidian to absorb their negativity.
8 The Psychotic Witch.
In the Witch World, we appreciate a high level of eccentricity. However, those who are Psychotic Witches are dialed into an entirely different dimension. You’ll know them because their speech patterns are a bit off, but not like someone who isn’t good with words or speaking a second language. Sometimes they’ll make a comment (or entire discussion) that is apropos of nothing. Doesn’t maintain eye contact. Twitchy. Favorite topic: conspiracy theories.
How to deal with a Psychotic Witch: First, make sure they are taking their medication. Psychotic Witches often think they are all better and stop their anti-psychotics. Sometimes they do recover, but if they report that Zeus is in the bathroom again…inquire about their pharmaceuticals. There is a difference between a hallucination and a mystical experience. It can be a fine line. Introspection is often the boundary. If you’ve got a Psychotic Witch in your life, keep an eye on them and do your research. Sometimes they can become violent.
Stone: Fluorite to help you figure out what is going on.
7 The Zombie Witch.
Going through the motions like a zombie. Has no spark or passion. Probably doesn’t even believe in witchcraft. Maybe they do deep inside, but they sure aren’t acting like it. Someone suffering from depression or other significant health problems can appear to be a Zombie Witch so it’s best to ensure that this isn’t what’s going on before reaching a conclusion. They are ill and need your support. Here’s the thing: hang around a Zombie Witch, and they will eat your passion. They can’t stand to be near someone who is vibrant and truly magical.
How to deal with a Zombie Witch: Some zombies simply need a nudge or a kick to get them out of their rut, so try this a couple of times before giving up on them. Shield. Shield. Shield. If their pessimistic ways continue to pick off pieces of you, consider letting them go.
Stone: Red jasper to encourage your own growth.
6 The Tinkerbell Witch.
Causes trouble and self-absorbed. Double-double toxic trouble. Gossip is their preferred form of magic(k). They love to stir the pot and serve you their tasty toxic morsels full of lies and hearsay. They always have to be in the midst of a crisis, often of their own creation but not directly involving them. Watch Peter Pan to understand this type better.
How to deal with a Tinkerbell Witch: These pixies are often double dipping in the toxicity pool. A special magical skill they possess is the ability to make you act like them. If you are having conversations that are mostly malicious about other people, then perhaps the witch you are talking to is a Tinkerbell. Attempt to steer your interactions in healthier directions a few times. If it doesn’t work, consider limiting your contact with them. They are highlighting everyone else’s weaknesses to deflect from their own.
Stone: Opal to activate your self-respect so you don’t start being a Tinkerbell.